


another text fic no one asked for

by lizzysnake_34



Category: Andi Mack - Fandom
Genre: Ambi - Freeform, Andi Mack - Freeform, Crack Fic, Drake - Freeform, Kippen Siblings, Muffy - Freeform, Set after the finale, Tyrus - Freeform, andi mack finale, everyone ships tyrus, jonah is single like he should be, kira is a demon, lots of screaming, sic tats, text fic, the good hair crew, we love when kira leaves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2019-11-23 20:02:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18156407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizzysnake_34/pseuds/lizzysnake_34
Summary: the first chapter seems semi-normalbut it is majorly on cracki promise





	1. buffles

**Author's Note:**

> andi ~ mackattack. tj ~ TJisDrake  
> buffy ~ slayer  
> cyrus ~ IlikeMuffins  
> jonah ~ dociousmagocius  
> amber ~ mybrotherisdumb  
> marty ~ martyfromtheparty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> welcome to hell

_**GHC + TJ ** _

_10 **:** 54 pm_

_**TJisDrake** added **mackattack, slayer, mybrotherisdumb, martyfromtheparty, dociousmagocius, IlikeMuffins** to the chat_

 

 

 **TJisDrake:** heyyy

 

 **slayer:** tj

 

 **slayer:** why **-**

 

 **slayer:** why drake

 

 **TJisDrake:** obviously, I’m secretly drake

 

 **slayer:** are you drunk or something

 

 **TJisDrake:** that’s rude to assume jeez buffles 

 

 **slayer:** BUFFLES

 

 **mybrotherisdumb:** buffy, I don’t think  he’s drunk this time.

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : he’s just an idiot. :)

 

 **TJisDrake** : your username and words are very encouraging amber 

 

 **martyfromtheparty:** wait tj, you know who I am?

 

 **TJisDrake:** yea!

 

 **TJisDrake** : how could I forget you

 

 **TJisDrake** : anthony?

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : it’s marty.

 

 **TJisDrake** : close enough.

 

 **IlikeMuffins:** ooooh! a group chat! this is a great idea! then we can all text for get together instead of me having to private message you all the agenda! this is so much more practical! good idea TJ!

 

 **TJisDrake:** ik, i’m pretty good with ideas. :)

 

 **IlikeMuffins:** also Buffy, don’t assume TJ is drunk, that can classify as bullying!

 

 **slayer** : are you seriously taking TJ’s side

 

 **TJisDrake** : YEAH BUFFLES DON’T BE A MEANIE 

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : SKSKSK

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : BUFFLES

 

 **IlikeMuffins** : ok wait you are acting weird

**IlikeMuffins** : I take everything I said back.

 

 **TJisDrake** : WHAT

 

 **TJisDrake** : CYRUS 

 

 **TJisDrake** : I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE WITH THIS

 

 **IlikeMuffins:** I’m coming over to check on you Teej, whether you like it or not.

 

 **TJisDrake:** GUYS TELL HIM I’M NOT DRUNK

 

 **dociousmagocius** : hahahaaaaa 

 

 **dociousmagocius** : hahahah

 

 **dociousmagocius:** hahahahah.

 

 ** **dociousmagocius:**** cyrus go check on him please.

 

 **mackattack** : yeah I second that

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : me 2

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : me 3

 

 **slayer** : WOW TJ NO ONE IS ON YOUR SIDE

 

 **TJisDrake:** WHAT

 

 ** **TJisDrake:**** THIS IS TRUE BETRAYL 

 

 **TJisDrake** : AMBER WE LITERALLY LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE YOU CAN LITERALLY JUST WALK ACROSS THE HALL INTO MY ROOM-

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : ehhhhhh

 

 **mybrotherisdumb:** i just don’t really wanna deal with you right now

 

 **TJisDrake** : wow I feel so loved 

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : you’re welcome! :)

 

 **IlikeMuffins:** Teej, I’ll be over in 5!

 

 **TJisDrake:** fine. (not that I’m opposed to seeing you tho ;)

 

 **TJisDrake** : WHOOPS I MEAN :)*

****

**slayer** : i saw that Kippen

 

 **TJisDrake** : what?

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : GUYS HIS FACE IS LIKE BRIGHT RED HES SO SMITTEN ITS SO CUTE-

 

 **TJisDrake** : AMBER I SWEAR

 

 **mackattack** : I ship it

 

 **TJisDrake** : GAH OKAY IM LEAVING 

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : guys operation get tj and cyrus to hang out worked

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : thank you all for contribution to the cause :)

 

 **dociousmagocious** : #tyrus

 

 **mackattack** : omg 

 

 **mackattack** : that’s sticking 

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : i’m making t-shirts for all of us

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : so wait, does TJ actually know who I am or?

 

 **mybrotherisdumb:** not a clue.

 

 **martyfromtheparty:** geez I’m literally on his basketball team! 

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** **:** like I said, my brother is an idiot.

 

 **docioismagocious** : dont worry marty! it only took him like 5 months to remember the first letter of my name!

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : well that’s encouraging.

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : all right, I’m off to secretly spy on tyrus.

 

 **mackattack** : oooo!! can I join?

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : yeah!! just come through the side door so the boys don’t know you’re here!

 

 **slayer** : you guys have fun stalking tyrus

 

 **slayer** : not that that’s creepy at all.

 

 **slayer** : but let me know if tj doesn’t treat cyrus right

 

 **slayer** : cause tj will then have to have a little talk with my fists :)

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : LMAO BUFFLES

 

 **slayer** : DON’T YOU EVER SAY THAT AGAIN

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : BUFFLES

 

 **dociousmagocius:** have a docious time!

 

 **slayer:** please never say that sentence ever again.

 

 **dociousmagocius:** HAVE A DOCIOUS TIME BUFFLES

 

 **slayer** : STO P

 

 **dociousmagocius:** ItLl CATcH oN YoU Guys

 

**_everyone is now offline except the kiddo saying the weird phrase will catch on_ **

 

_**dociousmagocius:** IT WILL CATCH ON!_

 

_**even the texting app on your phone fails to agree the phrase will catch on** _

 

 **dociousmagocius** : :(


	2. MORE CRACK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More crack.. but a new person joins the chat uninvited :000  
> AND LOTS OF GAY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here comes the crack kids :)

_***TJISDRAKE** renamed the chat *****_

**DRAKE** **SQUAD**

3:53 PM

 

 **Mybrotherisdumb:** um no. 

 

 **Mybrotherisdumb:** that is literally the worst chat name in existence.

 

 **TJisDRAKE:** BUT EVERYONE LIKES DRAKE

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : WAIT HOW BOUT

 

_***martyfromtheparty** renamed the chat *****_

**Sic Tat Bruh**

3 **:** 54 PM

 

 **TJisDRAKE:** brooooo

 

 **Mybrotherisdumb:** yeah umm?

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : THAT IS

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : THE COOLEST NAME

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : LIKE BRO

 

 **Mybrotherisdumb:** my faith in humanity has officially been lost.

 

 **Mybrotherisdumb** : like guys, that name is seriously worse than drake squad. 

 

 **TJisDRAKE:** HOW DARE 

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : POOR MUCUS PUT A LOT OF THOUGHT INTO THAT NAME AND IT’S SICK SO 

 

 **martyfromtheparty:** it’s marty

 

 **TJisDRAKE:** bro your name is hard to remember tho ngl 

 

 **Ilikemuffins** : Teej, did you just type ngl??

 

 **TJISDRAKE** : yeah

 

 **Ilikemffins** : I-

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : um yeah tj wtf?

 

 **dociousmagocious** : YOOO SICK CHAT NAME BROOO 

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : SEE AMBS

 

 **Mybrotherisdumb** : you all are idiots. 

 

 **Mybrotherisdumb** : except cyrus.

 

 **slayer** : guys.

 

 **slayer** : who came up with the chat name?

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : meeeee

 

 **slayer** : i should’ve known.

 

 **mackattack** : ambs whats happening here?

 

 **Mybrotherisdumb** : dumb teenage boys.

 

**Sic Tat Bruh**

_**bballQUEEN** joinedthechat_

_4:01PM_

 

_**bballQUEEN:** hey guyyssss_

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : WHO INVITED K*RA 

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : EW

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : DOES ANYONE KNOW AN EXORCIST

 

 **slayer** : me and idiot over here don’t agree on anything but..

 

 **slayer** : someone pls pour some water on her and see if she melts :))

 

 **dociousmagocious** : YEAH!

 

 **dociousmagocious:** why don’t we like her again ****

**TJisDRAKE** : uh

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : pERSONAL REASONS

 

 **bballQUEEN** : wait you seriously haven’t told them yet Kippen? That’s WEAK

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : I’M NOT WEAK I’M A STRONG BOY

 

 **bballQUEEN** : ok then tell them

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : haha

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : ahahahahah

 

 **TJisDRAKE** :AHAHHAHAHAH

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : no.

 

 **bballQUEEN** : ok I’m telling them.

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : WHAT

 

 **bballQUEEN** : ya yeet your ass I am.

 

 **bballQUEEN:** TJ

 

 **bballQUEEN** : IS

 

 **Mybrotherisdumb** : gay?

 

 **mackattack** : gay?

 

 **dociousmagocious** : gay?

 

 **slayer** : gay?

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : gay?

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : HA GOTEM!

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : wait y’all already knew lmao

 

 **slayer** : TJ

 

 **slayer** : TJJJ

 

 **slayer** : do you think we‘re dumb?

 

 **dociousmagocious** : ya it’s pretty obvious bro

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : 

Wig? Snatched!

Kira? Demon!

Tat? Sic!

hotel? Trivago!

 

 **bballQUEEN** : wait y’all don’t care if he’s gay?

 

 **bballQUEEN** : because 

 

 **bballQUEEN** : like

 

 **bballQUEEN** : GAH YOU PEOPLE ARE TOO NICE

 

 **bballQUEEN** : IT’S LIKE FRICKIN MY LITTLE PONY FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC

 

 **Mybrotherisdumb** : heh tj used to watch that

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : NO

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : it was only one episode-

 

 **Mybrotherisdumb** : GUYS LOOK AT THIS

 

  **Sic** **Tat** **Bruh**

_**bballQUEEN** has been removed from the chat _

_4 **:** 07PM_

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : WHY DIDN’T YOU DO THAT EARLIER 

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** :i knew some drama was about to go down and I needed my daily dose of tea.

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : well at least we banished the demon back to hell

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : GUYS LET’S ALL GO AND GET A SICK TAT

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : YES PLS

 

 **dociousmagocious** : YES

 

 **Mybrotherisdumb** : I’ve given up on everyone

 

 **slayer** : yup me too

 

 **mackattack** : me three

 

 **IlikeMuffins** : Me four

 

 **Mybrotherisdumb** : wait are y’all getting like real tatoos?

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : HECK YA LOSERS

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : WE GONNA GO GET SOME TATS FROM THE DOLLAR STORE

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : AND GET SOME DANK WATER AND SOME PAPER TOWELS SO WE CAN GET THOSE TATS ON US. 

 

 **Mybrotherisdumb:** I should’ve known.

 

 


	3. get outta my swamp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some mojor tea goes down in the chat  
> also light finale spoilers? the party itself is mentioned but nothing that happens at the party is.
> 
> ~

 

 

  **Sic** **Tat** **Bruh**

4:45 PM

 

 **TJisDRAKE** :BROOOOOOS

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : YOOOOO

 

 **dociusmagocius** : YOOO WHATS UP MATES

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : oh

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : my

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : god

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : DON’T JUDGE ME WOMAN!

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : YEAH

 

 **dociusmagocius** : YEAH

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : WE ARE FREE SPIRITS

 

 **slayer** : yeah not commenting on this one.

 

 **mackattack** : me neither.

 

 **IlikeMuffins** : Are you guys okay?

 

 **TJisDRAKE** :PERFECT

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : 10000% FINE

 

 **dociusmagocius** : YUP NOTHING WRONG HERE

 

 **slayer** : you guys are acting weird.

 

 **slayer** : and I mean weirder than usual.

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : BUFFY PFTTT WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WE AREP E R F E C T

 

 **mackattack** : they did something

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : yeah it’s p obvious

 

 **dociusmagocius** : WHAT

 

 **dociusmagocius** : WE DID’NT

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : YA WE’RE ANGELS

 

 **slayer** : mhm

 

 **slayer** : so did you guys like break something or??

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : W H A T

**dociusmagocius** : no it’s worse than that

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : JONAH COME ON

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : YEAH BRO WHAT THE HELL

 

 **dociusmagocius** : SORRY THERE’S TOO MUCHP R E S S U R E

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : wait does it have anything to do with me?

 

 **dociusmagocius** : yeah

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : JO N AH

 

 **dociusmagocius** : BRO IM SORRY SHE’S TOO SCARY

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : BROOOOOOO

 

 **IlikeMuffins** : TJ, what did you guys do?

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : UH

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : WE

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : STOLE CANDY

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : YA

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : EXACTLY WHAT WE DID

 

 **IlikeMuffins** : really.

 

 **slayer** : mhm.

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : OK FINE WE STOLE AMBER’S CREDIT CARD

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : you WHAT

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : and we bought like 500 shrek tattoos off amazon

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : no

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : uh yeah

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : HOW MUCH DID THAT COST

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : bro we got it for a SOLID price

 

 **dociusmagocius** : ya a solid price of $532

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : JONAH BRO WTF

 

 **dociusmagocius** : SORRY

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : i’m

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : calling

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : mom

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : NO PLS

 

 **slayer** : omg-

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : SHE’S SCARY OKAY

 

 **slayer** : doNt CaLl mOm

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : BUFFY I SWEAR

 

 **slayer** : BUfFy I sWeaR

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : SHUT UP

 

 **slayer** : ShUt uP

 

 **dociusmagocius** : okay while we’re confessing things, I’m the one that stole your gummy worms TJ :(

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : I-

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : YOU

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : MON S T ER

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : and I’m the one that threw your phone in the pool Jonah 

 

 **dociusmagocius** : bro my phone is in my pocket!

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : uhhh

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : have fun believing that.

 

 **mackattack** : I have your sweatshirt Amber, I never gave it back

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : pfft keep it

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : well I don’t have anything to confess so-

 

 **IlikeMuffins** : TJ and I are dating

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : CYRUS

 

 **dociusmagocius** : WIG SNATCHED

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : WH AT

 

 **slayer** : WTF

 

 **mackattack** : ANDI OOP

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : OMG TEA

 

 **dociusmagocius** : wait cyrus is gay??

 

 **slayer** : JONAH

 

 **mackattack** : JONAH HE LITERALLYT O L DYOU

 

 **dociusmagocius** : wait when??

 

 **IlikeMuffins** : Uhhh

 

 **mackattack** : remember it was like a really heartfelt moment??

 

 **slayer** : yeah uhhh

 

 **dociusmagocius** : OH YEAH

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : 🤦🏼♀️

 

 **slayer** : OKAY BUT WTF WHEN DID YOU GUYS START DATING?

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : uHhHhHHh

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : nOnE oF YouR BuIsnesS

 

 **slayer** : .-.

 

 **IlikeMuffins** : After the party-

 

 **slayer** : WHAT

 

 **mackattack** : AND YOU DIDN’T TELL US

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : i’m just gonna

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : yeet myself out of this chat

 

 **dociusmagocius** : why don’t you go yeet yourself into the pool to find my phone :(

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : SORRY MAN IT WAS FUNNY IN THE MOMENT

 

 **dociusmagocius** : :(

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : hey at least tyrus finally got together.

 

 **slayer** : true

 

 **mackattack** : yeah we stan tyrus

 

 **IlikeMuffins** : Tyrus??

 

 **slayer** : that’s your ship name

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : you guys

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : have been

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : shipping us

 

 **dociusmagocius** : who doesn’t??

 

 **IlikeMuffins** : Ok but can we talk about muffy

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : we stan muffy

 

 **slayer** : MUFFY?

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : whos muffy?

 

 **martyfromtheparty:** andwho’sstan

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : oh my god

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : muffy is not a person

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : it’s a ship

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : oohhh so like a boat?

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : why do i even try

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : OH WAIT A SHIP LIKE

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : LIKE TYRUS

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : there ya go!!

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : so wait muffy is buffy and

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : who??

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : OMG YOU IDIOT

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : DONT CALL ME STUPID YOU BUTTHOLE

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : WHO ELSE’S NAME STARTS WITH A M?

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : MORGAN

 

 **IlikeMuffins** : KSKSKSJS

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : OMG LMAO

 

 **slayer** : MARTY

 

 **slayer** : I’M

 

 **slayer** : STRAIGHT

 

 **slayer** : YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : phew that got me worried

 

 **slayer** : you’re literally

 

 **slayer** : my boyfriend i-

 

 **IlikeMuffins** : WHAT

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : OOO MORE TEA

 

 **mackattack** : BIG ANDI OOP

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : GET OUTTA MA SWAMP

 

 **dociusmagocius** : WIG SNATCHED

 

 **IlikeMuffins** : How long??

 

 **slayer** : since the party..

 

 **mackattack** : YOU HYPOCRITE

 

 **mackattack** : YOU COULD’VE SAID SOMETHING TOO

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : well

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : i’ve been exposed

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : y’all can expose me like james charles now :((

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : WILL DO

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : hey i can expose you too

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : for what

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : HAVING A BOYFRIEND AND NOT TELLING US ABOUT IT

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : dang guess i’m getting exposed too

 

 **IlikeMuffins** : Guys, no one is getting exposed!

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : so

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : funny we’re talking abt couples.

 

 **mackattack** : AMBER

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : cause the rest of us are TOTALLY SINGLE

 

 **mackattack** : yup totally single

 

 **dociusmagocius** : you guys are acting weird

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU SAY THAT JONAH?

 

 **slayer** : oh

 

 **slayer** : my

 

 **slayer** : god

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : are you thinking what i’m thinking??

 

 **slayer** : wow for once we might be thinking the same thing.

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : ok wait time to expose everyone

 

 **slayer** : ANDI AND AMBER ARE DATING-

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : SHREK TATOOS FOR EVERYONE-

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : IMEAN YEAH THAT TOO

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : what? nooo

 

 **mackattack** : WE’RE DATING FINE

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : A N DI

 

 **mackattack** : SORRY

 

 **dociusmagocius** : SINCE WHEN??

 

 **mackattack** : ... the party

 

 **slayer** : OMG

 

 **slayer** : YOU CANNOT CALL ME A HYPOCRITE

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : #ambi=canon

 

 **IlikeMuffins** : I-

 

 **dociusmagocius** : TEA

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME-

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : this day has exceeded my daily dose of tea

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : i’ve gotten my tea for the YEAR

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : ya true

 

 **mackattack** : ok but seriously are you guys gonna pay back amber or??

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : ANDI

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : WE JUST

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : DISTRACTED HER

 

 **mackattack** : YA WELL YOU TYPING THE LYRICS TO ALL STAR MADE ME THINK OF IT

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : SHREK SQUAD DISTRACT AMBER SPAM GO

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : shrek

 

 **dociusmagocius** : GET OUTTA MA SWAMP

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : shrek

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : THE WORLD WAS GONNA RICK ROLL ME

 

 **dociusmagocius** : SWAMPPPPPPP

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : ALL STAR ALL STAR

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : SHREK SHREK SHREK

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : nice try morons :)

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : but i’m still fully aware that you owe me a heck ton of money

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : SHREK SQUAD RETREAT-

 

* **TJisDRAKE** , **martyfromtheparty** , and **dociusmagocius** are now offline*

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : OMG I SWEAR

 

 **mackattack** : well what an exciting day

 

 **slayer** : what now?

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : i embarrass tj in the chat until he comes back

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : did you know

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : that tj’s real name is

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : AM B E R I SWEAR

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : shrek

 


	4. welcome to hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shrek squad reveals their true identities to the chat.
> 
> the chat also tries to guess tj’s full name

 

 

 **Sic** **Tat** **Bruh**

1:55 AM

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : HEY

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : GUYS

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : I’M

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : BORED 

 

 **IlikeMuffins** : Marty, you know it’s almost 2 am, right?

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : yeah jeez marty wtf

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : um excuse you

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : address me by my full name

 

 **slayer** : marty anderson?

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : NO

 

 **TJisDrake** : hey lord farquaad

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : THANK YOU

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : at least SOMEONE has common curtesy

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : smh

 

 **slayer** : I-

 

 **mackattack** : andi OOP

 

 **IlikeMuffins** : Why-

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : do you all

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : have

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : shrek names

 

 **TJisDrake** : YUP

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : hey dumbo

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : have you ever told them

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : what tj stands for

 

 **TJisDrake** : A M BE R

 

 **IlikeMuffins** : NO

 

 **IlikeMuffins** : NOT THAT I WOULD KNOW

 

 **IlikeMuffins** : HAHAHHA

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : HAHAHAH

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : omg

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : he told you

 

 **IlikeMuffins** : WHAT GAVE YOU THAT IDEA?

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : UM 

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : YOU AND CYRUS LITERALLY ACTING MORE AWKWARD THAN USUAL 

 

 **slayer** : OMG

 

 **slyer** : WHAT IF TJ STANDS FOR

 

 **slayer** : THEODORE JAMES

 

 **slayer** : OR SOMETHING NERDY

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : nope it’s worse than that

 

 **TJisDrake** : A M B E R

 

 **slayer** : what about

 

 **slayer** : tampon jar

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : LMAO

 

 **mackattack** : SJAUGWV

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : yup that’s his name

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : i can confirm

 

 **TJisDrake** : EW

 

 **TJisDrake** : THAT

 

 **TJisDrake** : JUST NO

 

 **slayer** : LMAO HEY TAMPON JAR

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : HOW’S YOUR DAY TAMPON JAR

 

 **slayer** : yeah TAMPON JAR

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : what’s a tampon

 

 **dociousmagocius** : PUSS IN BOOTS REPORTING FOR DUTY

 

 **mackattack** : JSHSBWIWH

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : O M G

 

 **ILikeMuffins** : SKSKSK

 

 **TJisDrake** : YO WASSUP

 

 **slayer** : MY GOD

 

 **slayer** : I’M DYING

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : YOOO

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : NOW THE WHOLE SHREK SQUAD IS HERE

 

 **slayer** : SHREK SQUAD

 

**ILikeMuffins** : Why-

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : BRB I’M DYING

 

 **slayer** : ok but seriously

 

 **slayer** : did y’all know

 

 **slayer** : tj’s name is tampon jar kippen?

 

 **TJisDrake** : BUFFY

 

 **slayer** : BuFfy

 

 **TJisDrake** : STOP

 

 **slayer** : StOp

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : GUYS

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : CALM DOWN

 

 **TJisDrake** : sorry your majesty

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : what’s tj’s shrek name?

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : not that he doesn’t already have one-

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : tj is shrek

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : LMAO I CAN SEE THE RESEMBLANCE

 

 **TJisDrake** : wow thanks amber

 

 **ILikeMuffins** : I think TJ looks nothing like shrek

 

 **TJisDrake** : RUDE

 

 **IlikeMuffins** : i-

 

 **TJisDrake** : just kidding!

 

 **TJisDrake** : and u don’t look like shrek either 🥰

 

 **IlikeMuffins** : Wow

 

 **IlikeMuffins** : Compliment of the year

 

 **slayer** : LMAO

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : WOW YOU NEED SOME DATING HELP TAMPON JAR

 

 **mackattack** : YEAH TAMPON JAR MAYBE WE CAN GIVE YOU SOME DATING ADVICE

 

 **TJisDrake** : y’all are bullies :((

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : WHAT IS A TAMPON

 

 **mackattack** : ok but for real

 

 **mackattack** : why are we all up?

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : well

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : tj and i were watching a movie

 

 **TJisDrake** : AMB E R

 

 **IlikeMuffins** : What movie was it?

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : high school musical :)

 

 **slayer** : LMAO

 

 **slayer** : MY GOD

 

 **slayer** : THIS IS JUST SUCH GOOD BLACKMAIL

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : AND TJ KNOWS THE WORDS TO LIKE EVERY SONG 

 

 **mackattack** : LMAO WOW TJ

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : bro

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : i

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : LOVE THAT MOVIE

 

 **TJisDRAKE** : REALLY

 

 **dociousmagocious** : ME TOO

 

 **martyfromtheparty** : BROOOS

 

 **slayer** : i should’ve guessed.

 

 **mybrotherisdumb** : welcome to hell everyone-

 

 **slayer** : i’m the devil and i’ll be your guide-

**Author's Note:**

> make sure to comment if you enjoyed! your feedback is what tells me to write more or not :)
> 
> sorry i haven’t uploaded in forever! i’ll try and update more often xx


End file.
